At some point or another, I think we have all been pummeled by the waves of life – when wave after wave bashes into us, knocking us down, exhausting us, leaving us feeling like we cannot breathe. Sometimes the waves are external life events (divorce, car accident, illness, etc.), sometimes it is our own minds (internal dialog that is on a negative reel of self-hatred, low self-esteem, worthlessness, etc.), and sometimes both. You pull yourself back up, only to be immediately hit in the face again by a crashing wave. And again and again until you feel like you cannot even try to stand any more. An approach to surviving this onslaught is to stop trying, stop fighting against the waves, let go of the need to stand back up.
This sounds counter-intuitive. It is the opposite of what we hear every day – Fall off the horse, jump back in the saddle. Don’t quit. – But this isn’t quitting or falling, rather it is accepting. It reminds me of rip currents in the ocean.
Rip currents are when powerful, narrow currents of water pull away from the shore. People can drown when caught in a rip current because the force of the water cannot be overpowered by swimming against it, and since the water is flowing away from the shore, the normal reaction is to swim against the current towards the shore. Even strong swimmers cannot overpower rip currents. To survive a rip current, the best approach is to “ride it out” or swim parallel to the shoreline. To swim parallel to the shoreline will hopefully get you out of the grip of the rip current and enable you to get back to shore. In some case, floating along with the current until you are out of its grip and allowing the waves to carry you back to the shore is the best approach, especially if you become exhausted and cannot swim. The hard part is that we want to get back to the shore as soon as possible and fight against the current. This futile action only leads to complete exhaustion.
Similarly to when we find ourselves within the metaphorical waves of life, our natural reaction is to fight against them, but this leads to exhaustion, hopelessness, and depression. If we grab control, stand back up on our own two feet, only to be knocked over again, we may grab even harder for control. Holding onto control is futile. Every wave reminds us that we are not in control, and the illusion and then knock-down plunges us deeper into despair.
So the thing to do is the hardest – let go, accept, stop fighting. Flow with the current knowing that we will not be caught in it forever. Realize that you can breath even when plunged under water. It is uncomfortable. We often panic and fight even harder, but it is futile and counterproductive. In Buddhism, suffering is to not accept what is happening. We need to accept the fact that waves are pounding us in the face, with the realization that we are still breathing. Not by our own strength can we force ourselves to freedom, but by letting go, flowing with the current, and continuing to breath. Eventually, we can then move through the waves with confidence knowing that they will bring us back to the shore.
Nature is Sacred 